GPOY. 

Seems like the only time I’m on tumblr these days is when I’m selfie-ing. But today seemed like a good depiction of a pretty normal day for me: working out of my office at school late, wearing glasses/looking like a nerdy chipmunk, geeking out about things, and simultaneously being surprised by how much work I get done/how much work I have. As much as I hate the glorification of business, I’m actually really happy with just how much I work. I’m really figuring out what my limitations are, and it turns out that I can do a lot. Turns out the thing that matters most is how much I enjoy the work, and I do; I wouldn’t give up any of it. I’m learning so much. This is the kind of experience I’ve wanted my whole school career, and I’m beyond happy I have it.I literally don’t give a shit that I’m working 90-hour weeks. I’m having the time of my life.

This song makes me want to go adventure and live abroad. But then again what doesn’t. I have this song on repeat today because I’m already starting to feel bogged down in school/Pittsburgh. Not that it’s a bad thing. But I came here with grander plans and I can’t lose sight of them now just because I’m so consumed with surviving the next 24 hours/week/semester/year.

On a related note: sooner or later, I’m going to have to stop rationalizing the difference between the life I want and the life I have. There’s only so much delayed gratification a life can hold. I’ve already decided the 24 will be my year of reconciling the differences between the life I’ve always dreamed of (tattoos, architecture, international life, design, writing) and the life I have now. But that doesn’t mean I can’t start already.

(Source: Spotify)

Reading Women (2012 - 2013), Carrie Schneider

  1. Rena reading Zadie Smith, Megha reading Edith Wharton.
  2. Flávia reading Clarice Lispector, Bianca reading Sylvia Plath.
  3. Evan reading Anne Lamott, Aura reading Maarit Verronen.
  4. Sara reading Miranda July, Sheree reading Angela Carter.
  5. Hsiao-Jou reading Fang-Yi Sheu, Heather reading Chris Kraus.
  6. Cauleen reading Gwendolyn Brooks, Molly reading Roseanne Barr.
  7. Sarah reading Zora Neale Hurston, Vicky reading Gloria Fuertes.
  8. Alyssa reading Patti Smith, Yala reading Susan Sontag.
  9. Whitney reading Terry Tempest Williams, Naomi reading Adrian Piper.
  10. Kelly reading Gabrielle Hamilton, Amy reading Michelle Cliff.

(Source: carrieschneider.net, via palidoeazul)

This is me as a brunette (with some major bed head and bags under my eyes). Basically, I’m working all the time now - either in bed or in a startup office. My body hasn’t been keeping up. I’m sore and tired all the time. Here’s hoping I can wrap up my freelance projects quickly and actually rest once school starts. I’ve already got a 12 hour day tomorrow, so that seems unlikely.

I’m all about the sneaky work selfies lately.

I finally got my hair cut (which means I got my bangs back) and I’m starting to feel like myself again, or at least closer to the me that I want to be. There are still so many changes that I want to make though, and I’m trying to make those decisions now. I thought it was appropriate that I found the “Happiness is a choice” mug this morning.

I’ve been making a lot of choices lately. I rearranged my room. I bought new bedding. I took on several freelance projects. I’ve chosen to say yes to pretty much every opportunity thrown my way lately, which is both exhausting and rewarding. I’ve also chosen to just say “fuck it” when it comes to caring about what the faculty in my program think and just do what moves me. It’s taken a bunch of stress off. I’m just hoping that I can take the classes I want. I’ve also decided to kind of get back in the game when it comes to meeting people or hanging out. I’ve gotten back in touch with acquaintances from earlier this summer and started making and taking up offers to hang out.

I’m not really sure what this year is going to bring. But now I’m looking forward to it. I just have to remind myself that I chose this and I’m choosing happiness.

Practically speaking, a life that is vowed to simplicity, appropriate boldness, good humor, gratitude, unstinting work and play, and lots of walking, brings us close to the actually existing world and its wholeness.